Insecurities and Distractions
by ASliverOfHope
Summary: Kyouya has decided to switch schools for some unknown reason and Kaoru realizes just how much he misses Kyouya. His main regret? Not telling Kyouya his true feelings. Kyouya/Kaoru Yaoi one-shot, AU-ish? Rated T just to be safe.


**A/N: Hello fellow KyouKao fans! This just randomly came to me when I was journaling about my friend that just moved away to go to school. Yeah I had a crush on him and he never knew so I wrote this as like a fairytale of what I wish my life could be like. Anyway, here a little drabble for you I hope you like it. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ouran High School Host club or any of its characters… etc.**

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Now that you're not here I'm filled with regret and maybe it's because I still like you. I don't know I tried to get over you, I wanted to get over you, but then you always do something that pulls me back in. I wish I had said something now that you are gone. I know you don't feel the same but at least you would know. We've had some really fun times these past year and I'm really going to miss you. I'm afraid when people, call it an insecurity of mine, what if I never see you again?

You say we'll keep in touch and we'll see each other again, but I've never been good at that. The next thing I know I wake, five years have passed, and we are now strangers. I don't want that to happen, I want more for us, but do you want that? If you don't than I don't know what I'll do, and if you do how can I make that happen? Maybe it's too soon, I know it's the day after you left but I just want to curl up and cry. Maybe this time it will truly be different. I know it's too soon to worry, but this has happen to more people that I could count. I should have been selfish, I should have begged you to stay, but no in reality I could never do that to you.

"Kaoru?" I continue to stare out the window, knowing my brother's voice with out looking up. I look at my reflection, a look of sorrow on my face and then I look to my twin's reflection, the mirror image of my one, but his face holds a look of worry.

"What is it Hika?" I turn to face him.

"You seem down today, are you feeling okay?" He comes over to the join me on the window seat wrapping his arms around my waist and laying his chin on my shoulder. I shrug him off for the first time and stand up, his face reflecting the surprise I feel. We've never had anything close to a disagreement so this was new for us.

"I'm okay, I think I just need to go take a walk."

"Do you want me to come with you?" I shake my head and he nods sadly. I grab my headphones and head out the door. This is also new for us when we can help my brother and I are almost never apart, but I guess I'm just not in the mood to be with him right now. I stare at the ground lost in my own world I have created in my mind, I don't really know where I am walking to so I just let my feet take me where they may.

Kyouya, his name cut through my mind and my heart like a knife tearing me up from the inside out. _Kyouya_ the tall, dark-haired, stormy-eyed, shadow king that I just can't keep my eyes and my mind off of.I want you, but there is nothing I can give you, there is no merit for the Ootori family in fashion design. So no I couldn't tell you to stay, no I can't be with you. I need you, but I'll refrain because if you have to leave I know leaving me behind is what's best for you, but when will this pain subside? When will the mere thought of your name stop cutting me up? I sigh and continue my walk; I'm glad, for once that I am by myself, glad that my headphones block out the world.  
"KAORU!" The scream of my name cuts through my loud music and I feel someone grab the back of my shirt pulling be back roughly. I look up just in time to see a car whip around the corner and race by in the street I was about to step into. "Kaoru, what the hell? Why weren't you looking where you were going? You scared me half to death, luckily I was close enough to help you." My headphones fall around my neck and my hand flies up to cover my mouth, recognition lighting up my mind. I turn around slowly to see the object of my affections standing in front of my looking very cross and very upset.

"Ky—" My voice catches in my throat because I'm too surprised to speak.

"Are you even planning on giving my an explanation?" his glasses catch a glare from the sun as he stares at me."

"I," I start finally finding my voice. "Thought you left. I thought you were changing schools, changing towns."

"Yes, well, I thought so too. There was this distraction that I need to get myself away from but I just couldn't do it."

"Wait so you're staying at Ouran?"

He sighs impatiently, "Yes. Now stop avoiding my questions."

"I," I look down in shame, "wasn't paying attention. I was upset and lost in my own world."

He sighs in relief this time, "why are you so upset?"

I gasp, surprised by how soft his tone became and then my explanation comes pouring out before I could stop myself. "I was upset because you left, or I thought you did. I was afraid I would never see you again and I was afraid we wouldn't keep in touch. I was regretting not telling you that I—" I catch myself afraid to continue.

"That you what?" He demands, curiosity getting the better of him.

I swallow there is no going back now, it is now or never. I regretted not telling him now here's my chance. "I regret not telling you that I… I like you." I stare at the ground not daring to meet his gaze. I gasp feeling his fingers under my chin; lightly he tilts my face up to meet his. I can't believe it! KYOUYA OOTORI IS KISSING ME! I smile into the kiss and press my lips harder against his.

We pull apart, both breathing hard and both sporting ridiculous grins on our faces. "You were that distraction Kaoru, the one that threatened to ruin me, and the one I couldn't keep myself away from." He smiles a rare and genuine smile and captures my lips once again with his own. Happiness bubbles up in my chest and my insecurities fade away.

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**A/N: So there you have it! Angst and fluff, some of my favorites and I hope you liked it. Strangely enough I think this is the shortest one-shot I've written. Well if you liked than feel free to tell me what you think, and if you didn't like than just move along. Please check out my other KyouKao stuff: Not So Different and If Only Love Was Easy, show them some love. **


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